November 21st, 2011 → 12:08 pm @ Lianne
Did you ever dream of jumping into a cloud, sitting in a cloud, walking through a cloud? They look so soft and welcoming…
Let me tell you what it’s like.
I never consciously decided to live in a cloud – but I have been for the last 4 days. I mean living in Holland has it’s pro’s but the weather is not one of them.
For some reason a cloud has settled over the country. It’s so thick that you get wet having a walk and that you can’t see more than 50 meters ahead of you (in fact I read that an important soccer game was cancelled because they couldn’t see the ball…). Never mind about catching a glimpse of the sun…
And did you know – it’s cold in the cloud. My very good,super warm enough for Canadian winters, winter coat just doesn’t cut it. Add a hat and mittens and I’m still cold. It’s called dampness – and I tell you – it doesn’t get much better than it does here. It has no respect for coats, layers, more layers, more coats. It just plows right through until it hits your bones. So I spend my days attached to a hot water bottle. I have a sheepskin seat cover for my bike that keeps my bum warm, a hat that covers my ears, the thickest mittens and the tightest coat (so that it can’t seep inside). If I bike fast enough, I can generate enough counter heat production to keep the dampness at bay (temporarily).
And the Dutch. They don’t even feel it. They always say – aren’t you the Canadian with the -25 degree weather? How can this be cold…
I’ll take dry cold and dry heat over this any day.
November 20th, 2011 → 12:10 pm @ Lianne
Boy did I ask myself this question many times, especially when my son Adam was born. He cried every night around 11pm for about an hour. No idea. My husband would take over and walk around with him, I couldn’t handle it – wanted to cry myself as I was unable to make him stop.
There are so many reasons why babies cry. It’s the only way they can communicate when they are born.
Now my kids communicate like this…
Here is what I wrote in my book about it…
A question you will ask yourself more than once in the next years. Babies cry when they are hungry, need a diaper change, are tired, are too hot or too cold etc. It’s the only way they know how to tell you that something needs to happen. There are other reasons for babies to cry of course including various forms of discomfort such as cramping, colic or being sick. If your baby has cramps she will usually stretch out or close her fists. As time passes you will learn to hear the difference in types of cries. Most important is to stay calm. Your baby can feel your stress…
November 17th, 2011 → 12:11 pm @ Lianne
When my first child was born, I had no idea that we needed a routine. My only focus was feeding him, feeding him and feeding him. He ate all the time and of course, always wanted to be held, which meant that I literally didn’t even have time to make myself a sandwich. I’ve learned a thing or two since then…
Here’s the answer that is written in my book:
Routine and rest are very important things to give your newborn. Routine doesn’t mean that at a particular time of day something has to happen, more that you keep a rhythm in your patterns. For example: Baby wakes up, change diaper, drinks, is awake, tummy time, sleeps. Repeat.
In Holland we get what is called “kramzorg” which translates to “someone that comes to your house to take care of you and your baby for the first 7 days after birth”. They help with breastfeeding, take temperatures, teach you the basics, tidy up and make you a sandwich. They come for about 4 hours a day. I think this was put into place because many Dutch women give birth at home, so they never enter a hospital and often don’t have any contact with an actual doctor – it all goes through the midwives unless there are complications or indications that things might not go well. I think it also has to do with keeping new moms out of the doctors office as they are being taught by someone less expensive. I’m sure there is a financial reason why they come to your house for 7 days – there usually is in NL.
Still, regardless of the reasons, with the right person (we had 2 wrongs and 2 rights), it can be really helpful. I’m the oldest of 6 and brought some of that experience with me when I had my first born so didn’t need help with some of the basics (like dressing, diapers, bathing).
When I had my 4th child (above), with 2 others at home and 1 who just started school, my “kraamzorg” stepped up and did things that weren’t “required” such as sorting closets, helping with the other kids so I could get some sleep, cleaning, pick ups etc. I loved her. It was the first time that I accepted that I needed to recover with bed rest and sleep.
But this whole post is about Routine. It’s the most important thing I learned. Keep a flow, keep it restful, let your baby know what to expect…
And don’t worry if you’re out and can’t keep the Routine. It’s about most of the time.
November 14th, 2011 → 12:15 pm @ Lianne
“My newborn doesn’t look like I expected”, a friend of mine said to right after the birth of her son. I decided to add this to my Questions in my newborn book because not every newborn looks like the baby on the pampers package when they are born…
Here’s what I wrote about that:
Your newborn’s head may be a bit pointed from coming through the birthing canal, his arms and legs may be a bit crooked having grown in a very tight spot for so many months and some babies are born with a layer of fat like white coating called vernix caseosa which protects their skin from the amniotic fluid. You’ll also notice that your baby’s head is much bigger proportionately than the rest of his body. The coating gets washed off, the head will return to being round in a couple of days, the legs and arms will straighten out over time and the head/body ratio will balance out as your baby grows.
November 10th, 2011 → 12:16 pm @ Lianne
This question was asked to me by my sister who was expecting. Actually, she asked me “What do I do with my baby in the first couple of weeks?” – And it’s a good question. I mean, what do you do with your newborn? All of a sudden you are a mom, just like that. Here’s your baby – figure it out…
For some, it’s a natural flow. For others, a step by step guide could be useful (though we all know there is no step to step guide for kids).
This is the answer I wrote in my book Babies 0-6 months. It’s the first question of the book and links to a number of other Q&A’s that are related – so what you are about to read is only part of the story…
During the first weeks, your baby will be adapting to her new environment and will be sleeping most of the day and night. If she’s not sleeping she’ll be drinking and if she’s not drinking or sleeping then she’ll be looking around, usually quietly before falling asleep again. You’ll be changing her diaper regularly, bathing her and putting her clothes on (which can be time consuming while you get used to her little parts). You will also need a lot of rest - so take advantage of her sleeping time to sleep yourself. Your baby will slowly have more “awake” time and will start to engage with you and be more interested in looking around and exploring with her eyes.
Of course this answer is for an average baby. It doesn’t mention that some babies cry a lot, have heavy cramping etc. I’ll be posting more about that in the next tips…
November 7th, 2011 → 12:19 pm @ Lianne
I hated tummy time. Well actually, my babies didn’t seem to like tummy time. I tried everything to make it entertaining: got down on my tummy myself, put the super BabyEinstein baby mozart video on, made noise – you name it – well almost…
Often they cried while on their tummy in the first month but then the got the hang of it, got stronger and spent more time on their tummies…
Here’s the answer from my book:
Since babies sleep on their backs (which can lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)) and spend more time in their car seats, buggies etc. on their backs (than before), tummy time is very important from day 1. During the day, while you are in the room, place your baby on her stomach (in a crib, or on a soft blanket somewhere safe) and let her spend time on her tummy. This helps your baby’s neck muscles develop as she tries to turn or lift her head up. It can be difficult and uncomfortable in the beginning for your baby to do but you can encourage this by lying in front of her and showing her toys or making a noise to get her to turn her head. Start with 3-5 minutes, 2-3 times a day and build up from there. A good time to do this is after she’s had a nap or after changing a diaper but not on a full stomach. This is also the foundation for many developmental milestones such as sitting up, crawling, walking.
November 3rd, 2011 → 12:22 pm @ Lianne
Some time ago, I decided that I would do the laundry every 10 days (or 7 if really necessary). I didn’t feel like washing and folding every day – the idea doesn’t make me feel good. I once mentioned to a friend in an email that I did the laundry once a week and she thought that I meant that I literally did one load once a week and couldn’t figure out how that was possible with 4 kids. I explained that I did laundry all day one day a week… Then she said, I thought that you fit a lot of clothes into your machine like you do with content in your book :-) – I thought – what a great thing to say about my book…
So how does one only wash every 10 days…
- Have enough underpants and socks for everyone.
- Spend the whole day doing loads of laundry but really it just means that every 2-3 hours (washers and dryers are not very fast here in NL) that I load and re-load.
- Don’t bother with separating colors and whites. We have no whites and I wash everything cold.
- I pick a day that I’m likely to be around every 2-3 hours – though sometimes that’s decided by the spilling out of clothes from the laundry hampers… hmmm maybe I should get more hampers…
- The dry clothes get tossed onto the couch.
- Once the kids are in bed, the clothes await folding.
- I put on a pre-recorded favorite tv show, pour myself a glass of wine, and fold. Sometimes I call my mom while I fold.
The only thing I’m not so good at, is putting the folded clothes back into the closets… This can take up to 3 days. As I write, there are a bunch of folded clothes calling out to me but I’m ignoring them. I will however try and put them away tonight while the kids are getting ready for bed!
And this is what happens when you do laundry every 10 days and your dryer breaks down…
And the socks… Let’s talk about that another time… (and before you say anything.. this picture was taken some time ago… I now have same colored socks for everyone!)
October 31st, 2011 → 12:26 pm @ Lianne
Just when she was starting to look into the camera and move her lips upwards, the “zits” started… Wasn’t their most attractive time as a newborn but just when I started thinking it would never go away – it did!
Here is the answer from my book
This is common and is called “baby acne” and appears on the face and chest area of the body usually around 2-4 weeks after birth. It’s caused by the hormonal adjustments taking place in your new baby. Keep your baby’s face clean (some say you can put your breast milk on the acne to help it clear up). The acne is not dangerous though doesn’t make for a pretty newborn picture.. It will eventually clear up itself and can take a couple of weeks but sometimes as long as 3-4 months and may come and go. If your baby is scratching her face make sure her nails are nice and short or put on small mittens.
October 24th, 2011 → 12:28 pm @ Lianne
Wouldn’t you love to have the opportunity to try on the most beautiful shoes in the world for as long as you wanted without a pushy impatient sales person breathing over your neck??? Well that’s exactly what I got to do this saturday at my friends Dante and Francesca – Italian and designers and producers of beautiful shoes under the brand name Nora.
They took out all of the samples they had in my size, lined them up and watched as I tried not to salivate over the beautiful leather. Even the ones that I thought, hmmm, not really my style – were totally my style.
And of course that wasn’t enough, we got in the car and drove to the store that has even more (as this first shoe event took place in their kitchen!). More beautiful shoes – I found the pair I was looking for and seeing it didn’t feel right to leave with only one pair, I forced myself to get a second.
Today I am wearing one of the pairs as I work by myself at home, behind my computer. Bit of a waste but I feel great!!!
October 19th, 2011 → 12:32 pm @ Lianne
I had big plans to post at least a couple of tips a week. Every day would be even better… Course I forgot that the kids are home all week and by the end of the day when everyone is in bed – I am totally done. So – for this week … no tips. I’ll be back at it on Monday morning sharp!
Here’s a pic of me and the kids on the bus home from the Library and Science & Technology museum…