Thought I was ready…

January 21st, 2012 → 11:38 am @ // No Comments

As I’ve mentioned, my youngest has started school. I have been waiting for the tears and they haven’t come. So I guess that makes me ready for the next phase right?

However, knowing myself a bit, I find this suspicious. I usually have to cry when I make transitions, and a lot.

Tonight. There I was.  A friend of my husband’s was visiting with her 2 year old son. We were just ending diner when she mentioned that she needed a small buggy. I spontaneously said: You can have ours. We don’t need it anymore.

So I went to get the buggy and as I was taking it down from the hook, I could feel the tears starting. I pushed them away thinking – great – I can give it to someone that can really use it.  I put on a smile, showed her how it worked, how small it was, and to always tell the airlines that it fit in any overhead bin (really does!). She kept asking me if I was sure. I kept saying that I was.

All of my buggy memories started coming back. It’s been everywhere with us.

Then they came. The tears. They came and came. I hid in the kitchen trying to get a grip. Didn’t help. I could hear that she was getting ready to leave so I called for my youngest daughter.  I asked her (through my tears) if we could give the buggy to the little boy. She’s usually really happy to give away things if it’s to someone she knows. Of course, she picked up on my tears and started crying and said no. It was still her buggy. (I’m sure if I hadn’t been crying that this conversation would have been different)…

My husband came into the kitchen to see what was going on and found us together.  I told him that I wasn’t ready. Then I told his friend the same thing and she hugged me for it. Said it was so beautiful to see me crying over the buggy (???) and told me to promise to keep it forever.

Now, I may not do that, after all –  it’s a 10$ buggy from Zellers – in fact it’s my second, as the first one broke.  But I will wait.

I’m actually not ready yet.

(pic of The Buggy coming soon…)


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